Tomorrow we will walk in our 5th March for
Babies. As I gather things that we will
need to take with us in the morning, there is a sea of swirling thoughts in my
mind, some of which I thought I would share.
Over the last 4 years, we have raised nearly $20,000 for the
March of Dimes. We do this rather
emphatically, and we have no shame in repeatedly asking our friends and family
to donate what they can to this worthy cause.
We are incredibly grateful for the generosity of our family and friends;
without it, we would not have been able to contribute nearly this much. Someone once asked me why raising money for
the March of Dimes is so important to us, since their work could not and did
not save our daughter. Truth be known, I
would love to say that we have raised $20,000 for the perinatal bereavement
program at our hospital, but there are many logistical issues that stand in the
way of this, and we try to give back to this program in other ways.
So why the March of Dimes?
It’s pretty simple. Whether they
realize it or not, most people know someone who was born prematurely or whose
child was born prematurely. Many preemies
are quite frail and ill when they are born, and most endure long NICU (neonatal
intensive care) stays before they are healthy and strong enough to go
home. The March of Dimes contributes thousands
upon thousands of dollars to NICU programs, research programs and maternal
health programs every year. Their
financial efforts have improved the type and quality of care available to the
tiniest patients, which has increased the odds of survival. Survival…it’s all about survival…survival of
the tiniest, not the fittest….
Quite simply, we walk because of this little girl, who made us parents and captured and broke our hearts before she was even born.
We raise money because it gives us a positive outlet for grief-based energy. We walk to honor Gracie's memory, and
the memory of so many other tiny babies who never got to go home. We walk to celebrate all of the babies who
have grown stronger and healthier, graduated from the NICU and gone home with
their families. We walk with the hope
that our efforts will prevent at least one family from knowing the unending, gut-wrenching, life-altering grief and pain of
burying a tiny baby instead of taking that baby home with them. Hope…it’s all about hope…
I won’t lie. We will
look happy and we will enjoy the day, but we will walk amid a multitude of weird grief-generated thoughts that we really cannot explain to someone who has never had them. We will walk with somewhat heavy hearts,
knowing that in the coming months we should be celebrating Gracie’s 5th
birthday and first day of kindergarten. We
walk knowing that we will forever miss the important milestones and
firsts. We walk knowing that there will
be an emotional crash in the weeks immediately following the March for Babies,
because that’s what grief does…it builds you up and then tears you down. People like to remind us that we have two other little girls who should erase our grief. We have been fortunate enough to be blessed with Gracie’s
little sisters, who absolutely help to heal heavy hearts. They are the light of our lives, and we are eternally grateful for them. We know in our hearts that the one in the
Elton glasses would not be here with us if it weren’t for Gracie, but they do not completely erase the void in our hearts left by Gracie.
As you go about your Sunday, please send up some positive
thoughts for our family, as well as all of the families walking with us and all
of the families whose tiniest members never made it home or whose tiniest members are currently in the NICU. If you have supported us with any type of donation, please know that we will never be able to thank you in a way that conveys our appreciation. If you have not contributed, please consider
making even just a $5 donation. You never know
when your generosity might save tiniest love of your life that you haven’t even
met yet.
